Lent Week One: Prayer of Lament

As a deer longs for flowing streams

So my soul longs for you, O God.

My soul thirsts for God,

For the living God.

When shall I come and behold

The face of God?

My tears have been my food

Day and night,

While people say to me continuously,

“Where is your God?”...

~from Psalm 42

Music: https://youtu.be/XxKFtiPfxTM

As the Deer (Diocese of Saint Benedict Old Catholic Missionaries)

When it is necessary

to drink so much pain,

When a river of anguish

drowns us.

When we have wept many tears

and they flow like rivers

from our sad eyes.

Only then

does the deep hidden sigh of

our neighbor become our own.

(Julia Esquivel)

We have all been touched by pain and suffering at some point in our lives. Yet we live in a society uncomfortable with expressions of sadness, that tells us to move on, to get over it, to shop or drink or eat our way through... Or to fill our moments with the continual noise and distraction of television and other devices. This is the same mindset that compels us to answer “fine” when others ask how we are -- and we aren’t.

What is the sorrow you carry with you? Have you experienced a personal loss -- a death of a loved one, the loss of a job, a broken relationship, or an illness? Is it sorrow over the wars that rage on? Or the many children dying every day from disease and hunger? Is it the systemic racism that devastates lives and communities? Is it the millions who have suffered and died due to the corona virus? Perhaps the grief you carry is touched by many of these things, and more.

Take a moment to be in touch with your grief. Pause, breathe, put your hand on your heart and just let yourself feel for a moment without trying to resist or change anything. When sadness arises, breathe into it; gently make space for it within you.

The Prayer of Lament: The Hebrew Scriptures are filled with this prayer of crying out to God. Lament gives voice to our grief, within the context of prayer. Both the Old and New Testaments contain prayers of lament. Of the one hundred and fifty psalms, sixty-three can be classified as psalms of lament. In the New Testament Jesus weeps over the death of his friend Lazarus, and for Jerusalem.

There is something powerfully transformative that can happen in the naming of our grief, and sharing it with the One who loves us most.

Theologian Walter Brueggemann writes that people can only dare to envision a new reality when they’ve been able to grieve, to scream out, to let loose the cry that has been stuck in their throats for so long -- 'the most visceral announcement that things are not right!” Only then can we begin to “to nurture, nourish, and evoke a new consciousness,” a new vision.

Writing Your Own Prayer of Lament

Our creative invitation for this first week in Lent is to write your own prayer of lament. Below is a suggested format for writing your lament, using seven steps which are modeled after the Psalms.

You might begin gently by jotting down a few words in response to each step, and then letting it expand into phrases or sentences over time. Feel free to skip any steps that don't fit your situation or that feel too uncomfortable. It might be helpful to give yourself a specific time limit - like 15 minutes - to write out your lament, and then set it aside and come back to it later if you wish.

1) Address to God:

How do you call upon this Divine presence in your life? Do you have a particular name for God or the Divine that is nourishing for you or feels right to you in this moment?

2) Complaint:

What is your lament and cry of pain?

3) Affirmation of Trust: (if it feels appropriate – not always present in lament)

Have you had an experience of God meeting you in your pain before? If so, you may want to draw on this memory to experience a sense of companionship in your grief, remembering how the Divine can be with you even if you are not aware of it.

4) Petition:

What is your deepest desire from God right now in the context of this prayer of lament? What do you want for yourself, your loved ones, the earth? Be bold in your asking.

5) Assurance of Being Heard:

What do you need from God to feel witnessed -- to feel seen and heard?

You might want to ask for an image to hold, or a feeling of presence or comfort.

6) Vow of praise:

What can you offer to God on behalf of your longing?

This refers to our mutuality in relationship with God. It's not just about bringing our concerns to God and asking for what we need, but entering into relationship and reflecting on what we can do, what we can bring, and what we can offer. If this feels difficult, you can let go of it for now, and come back to it later.

7) Blessing:

Some laments end with the expression of pain – but if it feels right, you might consider if there something for which you can express gratitude, a sense of wonder or delight.

The following is a song of lament you might listen to before or while you create your own lament.

Hear My Prayer - Stephanie Martin, “Alleluia”

https://youtu.be/Kk-LSR7drMw

Hear my prayer, O Lord,

And let my crying come unto Thee.

Hide not Thy face from me

In the day when I am in trouble

For my days are consumed like smoke

And my bones are burned as a hearth

My heart is smitten and withered like grass

For I have eaten ashes for bread

And mingled my drink with weeping

For thou hast lifted me up

And Thou hast cast me down

My days are like a shadow that declineth

And I am withered like grass

But Thou O Lord shall endure

For ever and ever

---

a few final thoughts:

As you go forward into the remaining weeks of Lent, you are encouraged to make a space for your feelings of sorrow, and also give permission to others in your life to express their sadness. Become more mindful of your own attitudes and actions, and how they might be subtly contributing to your own pain and the pain of the world.

For a Lenten practice: Refuse to say that everything is fine - when it's not. Maybe you could think of an alternate response to use when asked, "How are you?"

Practice truth-telling (using Love as your guide).

May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers,

half truths, and superficial relationships

so that you may live

deep within your heart.

(Christine Valters Paintner)

(in the Comment Section below, you are welcomed to share your prayer of lament, your alternate response to "How are you?" or any thoughts that arise as you engage this way of prayer)